Interacting with people is the norm, even if it is mainly virtually. Regardless of the interaction, we must recognize the fact that we cannot take anything personally. I know that this is easier said than done, but I want to share with you techniques that I implement to not take things personally. Even if I slip up and take things personally, I revert back to implementing these techniques.
Avoid Internalizing Rudeness
When someone is rude, I remind myself that a person’s rudeness is not about me. A person’s rudeness is a true reflection of that person’s own internal issues and challenges. Therefore, always remember that another person’s rude comments and behaviors are not about you. So, avoid internalizing the rudeness. Remember too that you are not defined by the crude remarks.
Find Meaning
I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. When I find myself experiencing a negative behavior or a rude comment, I ask myself what the comment or behavior means. I focus on how I can learn from it. Process the comments or behavior in a constructive manner. What truth was contained in the comment? How can you grow based on the comment or behavior? Write down your thoughts in a journal to assist you in processing the situation, your response, what you learned, and how to move forward.
Practice Self-Awareness
Your self-worth does not depend on other people. Your self-worth depends solely on you. Always remember: What others think of you is NOT your business. You are not defined by your mistakes or criticism. You know you better than anyone else. You know who you are and your life story. Never forget to practice self-awareness to avoid taking something personally.
What others think of you is NOT your business.
View from Different Perspectives
I have several friends, who always provide me with unbiased perspectives of the situation. I like how uncomfortable I get when they call me out about my behavior(s) or comments. Feeling uncomfortable means that I need to grow. These accountability partners help me recognize when I take something personally or reacted in a defensive manner. I love them for being the unbiased sounding board to help me see the situation from different perspectives and viewpoints.
Not taking things personally is a work in progress for me. However, these techniques allow me to bounce back and stay on top of my game. Do not be too critical of yourself when you do take things personally. Learn from the situation. Grow from it. Then, continue being your best self.
Share a time when you took something personally and learned from it in the comments. I want to hear from you.
The Bougie Professor - Dr. Cassandra Hawkins 